My Merciful Heartbreaker

Before you,
I was through
with the thought
of love and forgot
my own key to
my happiness and heart.

I never had someone
to be my best friend
because I always depended
on no one.

Forgot to smile
for awhile
because I've lost my joy
until you fixed my emotionless toy.

You were the first boy
I took to the roof
where I can shout to the clouds from
my frustrations and focus.

You were my awkward moment when I wanted to hug you
after meeting you, but I shook your hand instead.
I thought I was odd and you would not like me back.

You were the boy
to kiss me from my two years of loneliness.

You were the boy
I enjoyed talking and sharing music
together.

You were the boy I liked
to take you to my home and lie on the couches
to give each sweet crimson sins.

You were my very first date
to take pictures and wear Domo hats in
a halloween store. You thought its adorable.

You were the boy
I ever felt intimate with.

You were the boy
who told me you thought you were stalking me by
following me around because you liked me for me.
To admit that I was awesome, made me forget my worries.

You were the boy
that really cared about me because
you like me too much to break me into pieces.

You were the boy
to reject me.
I cried a little but you released me
from my depression and misery

You were my first real love
and the best thing I have ever received,
but you were also my merciful regret.

You taught me not to be
afraid of love and believed in me.
You helped me remind myself that
I have support from everyone we know.

Now you are the first boy
I write about because I thank you for
saving me from my greatest fear: sucking so bad on stage.

The Joy of College

What is college like?

To me, college is a community of misfits and adults given a second chance of education. It feels like a tribe that would help you no matter what the situation. We feel welcomed by everyone, including the Rainbow tribe (known as the LGTB). There are no signs of exclusion and neglect in a community of outsiders.

We are one giant, happy family united in just one place we call the utopia of the free minded individuals.

We have miserably and discreetly suffered from the hands of bullies, haters and normal elitist/socialite mates in high school because we were the abnormal plague contaminating the young minds with unncesssary fan fictions, fantasies, unrealistic dreams, and of course... pleasurable arousement methods to satisfy our sexual, enticing hunger

But today, those day are over; we can be ourselves. We can create something aesthetically real and bring the imagination to life. We can imagine that pegasus is an alien from out of space and gain more knowledge.

The reason I enjoyed college more than high school and middle school is because it helped me remind myself that I have the love and support from everyone that I rarely received. They just keep disappearing everyday because they have their own destinies to pursue or they had disliked you secretly. I couldn't tell if others were helping me until now. It was also because I have pushed the ones I loved away because I didn't trust anyone. Nor did I trust myself. I love college because it gave me a second chance of happiness. Not only that, I am pushing myself everday; I know what I am chasing after, I just need the adrenaline and strength to be active everyday.

Love for Willow

Into you summer's ring
I gaze upon before
your mystic ray fades.
I can feel the frosty
breeze from your winter's wind,
with a ripe smell of rosemary.

Your silky road is as soft
as a wet, sweet grass.

Your crimson sin is as sweet
as rose petals, with a taste
of blood and chocolate.

The milky white skies,
I look up remind me
of a pure clear water
I would dive into.

The strands of your long
leaves wave from a blow
of the ocean's breath.
as lovers exchange
whispers for embrace.

Your fire can bring me
the warmth I have always yearned
for I know not of such amorous
nearness.

I gander at your autumn's blush,
admiring your red, glistening glow

Your gentle, soothing
melodies always
lure my misty fog
into your mist

I can hear your giant seed,
as loud as the bongo drum.
But I can feel the invisible crack,
sharp as a glass can cut you.
I can see that vultures and demons
have left you with scars and bruises.
Permanent as tattoos and hennas, they
have carved your silhouetted bark so
you'd live with shame and regret.

I give my rose in exchange
of your heart, showing my
enamorous devotion to you.

Do not worry, willow.
For I will protet and defend you
from deforesters and poachers
as you will give me your support.
We will cherish
each other's company as children
playing together in a playground
and warming together.

Many questions I refuse to answer for
my peers say I am delusional.
Are you my Mars or Venus I have
created? Do you exist? Are you a lie?

If so, I lost myself into insanity;
I stared at the sun for far too long
until my imagination burned
my lessons into ash.

If not, will I ever
meet you as a small sparrow
in disguise? A dragon? Phoenix?
Please... give me a sign.

Lightning Lake Globe

There I was
Thirteen years old
in Lightning Lake
 A basin of sparkling water
and sand for a ground to sink your feet into.
Indulged by the round black tent, just like a circus kind
is covered with a thousand stellar, glistening rhinestones
and shiny, white strokes that appear for a second
The moon, beautiful as a pearl from oyster shells
took me away from my family and cousins,
I was at peace.
Indulged by the black and blue sky and the huge
reflective mirror above
was shaped as a globe.
and we are the vivacious, non-plastic dolls.

Let it BURN!

I reach to the firetouchig the flame
the firelight will never tire
nor will it become tame.

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn!

I can handle the pain
because it is my gain.
You may feel sorry
but don't you worry
my darling friend
I can defend
and my heart will mend

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

My flame will allways rise
higher. It is of no surprise.
You can take away my toys
but boys...
You can never take away
my audacious say

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

My heart will never conform
and my desire will never deform
I am not playing a game
nor am I making a name
for myself,
But I am trying to live my life

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

You may give me your loathsome words
to me as a thousand swords,
but it will always be my source.
I can take away your hateful force

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

You may blow the fire as many times
but it will never stop lighting
by itself; the heart is ambitious

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

When the fire lights
in the dark, blue night
it will always fight
until the end.

Let it burn,
let it burn,
let it burn

Love me as a who I am

You may see me as a disgrace.A disappointment.
A burden
But I am not afraid
to face the worst as
you think and you are.

You may not like what I do
or want, but it is not up to you.
I made the choice
because I have a voice.

If you love me just as your flesh as blood,
show more as you do care
or it will seem you were not always fair.
Please I beg. Don't let your doubt
of my abilities become a flood
filled wih your discouragement
towards me.

Me

I'm sorrymy dear friend
I was not trying hard to defend
for you. But don't you worry
I will continuously try
because I don't want to be shy
anymore.

I want to reach into the dimming light
where it glistens in the dark.
The illuminate moon is such a delight,
it leaves a shining mark
as rhinestones.

I may not seem as brave
but it is as much as I gave
my best. I may have been hurt
with words so harsh and treated as dirt,
but it made me stronger.
Now I know I can survive longer.